When two unmarried Christians manage to find each other, a common remark is, "I'm so glad! I knew all along that you two were well-suited to each other." But in my opinion, that remark seems rather self-incriminating. It's like "I told you so," but instead it's "I didn't tell you so."
It raises the obvious question of why the speaker didn't do anything. The majority of the Christians whom I've met are the most vociferous supporters of strong marriages. They're intent on preventing divorce. They favor premarital counseling of engaged couples. They stop just short of turning marriage and family-building into a sacred duty. Why is it that these people contribute so much less to the formation of the first stages of a (potential) marriage?
I'm definitely not suggesting that marriages be arranged by relatives or church elders. Neither am I suggesting that romantic relationships must be rule-driven or extensively supervised. I'm mentioning a curious oversight in a Christian community's attitudes. Its unmarried members surely are in need of assistance as much as the married? It's true that people are unlikely to welcome outright interference or control of their lives, and they really shouldn't allow others to do so. Yet that extreme is much different than intermediaries in the same community who simply see what the couple does not and merely brings it to their attention. On the condition that they ask permission beforehand, perhaps they could also help provide introductions or informal contexts for the two to meet.
Good unmarried Christians might spend their lives in loneliness due to ignorance of the others in the community with whom they could have blazed a marriage pleasing to God. Who cares?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment